Sleepless nights Part 2

Why can't I sleep?! :( I am SO tired. CJ sleeps through the night like a champ, but Mommy on the other hand does not. We go to bed at 10pm and at 1am I find myself still awake, with no hope of falling asleep... I hear every moan of the baby, every snore of my hubby, every car door shut, every dog bark, etc etc etc. So, finally at 1:30am I decide to take some benadryl as the last effort to get some sleep, fell asleep sometime after 2am only to have the baby awake by 7... I feel exhausted all day, and can't wait for bedtime to go to sleep, only to have the scenario start again... I don't know what to do anymore.

Love Language

Juan & I are going through the book: The 5 Love Languages, (with our Young Married group) and I have finally realized what mine is: Quality Time. Here's a brief breakdown from the website of what my love language is:
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.


This definitely was not mine before having a baby, back then it was: Physical Touch. Brief description below... 
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.


It's funny how having a baby changes things... Even in our marriage... My needs are so different now. Having time with my husband is more important than it's ever been to me for so many reasons. One of them is the simple fact that he is usually the only adult I get to interact with. Sadly, I need so much more from him now... I need support, sympathy, understanding, conversation, love, encouragement, openness... I have always needed these things from him, however, before I was getting these things from others at work or in school, etc. He is now my sole support system most of the time.


I am glad we are going through this study, it has opened up the dialog between Juan & I to understand each other better and be able to meet each other's needs and keep our love tanks on "full". What a blessing... Now to learn more about Juan's love language, which is: Words of Affirmation. Brief description below:
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

I highly recommend this book to any and all married folks...

May God bless you today.

Valentine's Day:: I love my boys! (all of them)

In honor of Valentine's Day I have decided to post about all the boys/men in my life! To be fair, I will post in order of their appearance in my life.

First, there's my dad.

The man whom all other men are measured against... He was an amazing husband to my mom; took care of her up until the end... He is such a proud father and has always believed in our "potential"... (although as a kid that really irritated me... no matter how well I did, he'd tell me I could do better, that he knew my potential...) He provided for us so well, worked hard so that we could have everything we needed and most of the things we wanted. He has always been the one person I knew I could go to and he'd make everything better, that is, until I met my husband... But I guess that's the goal of a good father: to take care of your daughters until they meet an amazing man who can take care of them for you. He set a great example of what a husband should be, and took us to church every Sunday so that we could learn about and get to know our heavenly father. That is the greatest gift he gave me. I love you daddy!

Here's a photo of my two best men: Dad & Husband! :) (Christmas morning 2009)

Next, there's my husband, Juan!

Ya, he's pretty much perfect. For me. He is every single one of my dreams come to life in one man. He is the most gorgeous creature who ever walked this earth as far as I'm concerned. He is the smartest person I have ever met, by FAR. He is also the strongest person I've ever met... He's been through much more than you would ever know from meeting him. He is so kind and gentle, he listens to me and occasionally even opens up himself to show me the most vulnerable parts of him. He does everything with our future in mind; he is a planner. He graduated from college with his Bachelor's degree in Business, made it possible for us to buy two cars and a house, and have a beautiful baby boy. He is the best part of my day. When I used to work, I just loved the idea of coming home to find his truck in the driveway... Seeing him is coming home for me. Knowing him has taught me more about love than anything else in my life. He is an amazing father and I am so glad that CJ has such a great example of God's love and provision for his life. I could talk about Juan forever, but to put it simply, he is what makes me happy and safe.

Here's a picture of my three best guys.

Next, there's my precious pooch, Coal.

This picture says it all! He is so cute and sweet... He was our "practice" for kids. Ya, he was nothing like having a baby, except that I fell in love with him right away... I can't wait to have him back inside (he's been an outside dog since CJ was about a month old, because we've had my dad's dog and he wasn't fully house-broken, so they've been outside buddies...). I am just excited to see him interact w/ CJ & see CJ interact with him. I think they will love eachother and have a ball! :)

Here's a photo of my dad (Papa) with CJ & both dogs...

Last, but certainly not least, is my sweet baby boy! Carter James (CJ)

From the moment I laid eyes on him, I knew a new kind of love. I am still amazed that God has trusted me to be this angel's mother. He was absolutely beautiful from day one. He was so tiny, I had no idea what I was doing, all I knew was that I loved him and I'd do everything in my power to make sure that he's always safe and happy. My protective instincts have been sharpened so much since he's been born. He is a challenge, and a joy. He has taught me so much about myself and about God's love for me. I now have a better understanding of the sacrifice God made for me, by sending his son to be sacrificed so that I can live. The greatest sacrifice I can imagine now... He is growing so quickly, I can hardly remember holding him when he was a newborn and his head was the size of the palm of my hand. What a precious gift he is... I cannot imagine this life without him.

Thank you God for all my boys... I am so blessed and surrounded by love.

One more picture of my hubby & my baby cuteness...

Happy Valentine's Day!
May God bless you today.

6 months...

Just had to post to say that my baby boy is 6 months old today! ... If I had more energy I'd post more, but the whole family is sick (including me), and that's all I've got...

You have GOT to be kidding me...

My baby is SICK!... not a shock to the mother who has taken him to the DR. three times in the last week, and who has been turned away with a: "he's fine..." each time, with the exception of the last time when they said: "he might have a little infection, here, rinse his nose w/ saline & he'll be fine in a couple days..." What the...?

So, as my little guy got worse and worse, my mommy instincts told me: "screw the DRs, you know he's sick!... and getting worse...", so after being up w/ CJ from 2-3am without any luck consoling him we decided to take him to the E.R...

Luckily, the E.R. DRs' brains WERE working & within a few minutes of seeing CJ (which didn't happen until after we'd been there for 6 hours...), the DR told us he has RSV... She then ordered an Xray of his chest to see if he had pneumonia... The xray came back w/ a spot that looked like Pneumonia, but DR said it could also just be the RSV, but she decided to treat him as though he has pneumonia... The DR gave us his prescriptions and discharged us after being in the E.R. all night...

CJ & I dropped Daddy off at home so that he could get ready for work and try to get out there before the day was a total loss. CJ & I then headed off to Walgreens pharmacy to fill his prescriptions... We dropped them off, and were told it would take 15 minutes, so we walked the store... finally they called us and guess what? There was a problem w/ the prescription... Apparently the way it was written was not covered by CJ's Medi-Cal, so they told me they'd "fax" something to the dr and it would be ready in a couple of days...!! WHat??????? I explained, ever so calmly (NOT), that I had a VERY sick baby who needed his medication ASAP, as he cannot eat or sleep due to the congestion and coughing... the pharm tech told me I could call the hospital to speed the process along, which I did... I called the pharmacy back & told them the direct line to the nurse I spoke w/ and she said she'd take care of it and call me back right away...

An hour later, I called back only to be told the exact information as before: "your insurance won't cover it the way it's been written..." . No freakin way?!... I re-explained everything and gave the phone #, and she asked me if the E.R. had given us the mask for the inhaler... ? NO. They said that's part of the prescription... Only to be told it wasn't... GREAT!... I told her that I needed this taken care of ASAP, she said she'd contact the hospital and call me back right away...

TWO hours later I call back only to hear that it's there and it's been ready... REALLY???? Why couldn't you freaking call me & tell me that when you know I have a very very sick baby??? UGHHHHHHH!!! I was SOOOO angry... It took everything in me when i got to the store not to jump over the counter and strangle her w/ her litttle vest when she asked me if i needed anything else... REALLY? REALLY?...

SO, we finally got the meds and gave them to him around 3:15pm... So far they don't seem to be doing much but hopefully he'll be on the mend soon.

Sorry this post has been so negative, just needed to vent. I can't stand people messing w/ my kid!

May God bless you today...

CJ's new favorite toy...

He is in LOVE with my cell phone!... perhaps this is a sign that I am on the phone too much! I was talking on the phone w/ AT&T to try to get our bill lowered (which I successfully did! lowered by $40/month!!!), and he was grunting and screaming and leaning forward trying to get the phone! It didn't help that I was on the phone for 48 minutes with them and he was trying to get the phone the entire time... I finally had to put it on speaker and let him hold it. I was going to call my dad today, but CJ was all over the phone again, so we decided to Skype him! Which is SOOOO cool! I can't believe we've never done that before. CJ loved it! Our webcam isn't working so we could see Papa (my dad), but he couldn't see us. Still, CJ was leaning forward towards the screen trying to  grab it and give Papa a kiss... (his way of kissing is to lean in, grab your ears/hair/neck/whatever he can get his little paws on, and opening his mouth wide to slime all over your nose! it's sooo cute...) Here are a couple cute pictures of CJ with "his" phone...

A couple of other items he can't wait to get his little paws on: the t.v. remote, the laptop, my starbucks cup, anything I'm eating... This is causing me to rethink some things... clearly he is drawn to these things because he sees them ALL the time... Mommy needs to do more stuff that doesn't involve technology...

The Sweetest Thing

Well, as you already know, the last few days have pretty much been hell. My poor baby boy is so sad and whiny. All he wants to do is cry and scream and be held. This can really take its toll on a very tired mommy... But what helps is being married to the most amazing man ever!!!

These were delivered yesterday morning, just in the nick of time... I was especially surprised since we SO cannot afford flowers... Come to find out, he worked (helped move the flower shop) to get these. Now that makes dealing with a sad baby all day long a little more bearable... he thought of me and worked to do something special for me... Ya, he's pretty amazing!!!

May God bless you today.